Hey everyone! Now before I even really get rollin', let me first say that, yes, I know it has been quite awhile since I posted anything. There's a couple reasons. They'll sound very opposite but in a weird way they kinda work together. First is that a lot has been going on. A lot of changes in my life that has made it challenging to write. Second, nothing has happened. Wait, wha? But, Jason, y-y-ya just said that a lot has been going on! Well. I know. But I guess what's been lacking has been those moments that you look for that have so often strategically and painfully hidden themselves in the cracks of the every day grind. That's what I usually experience that makes me walk right in the door at the end of the day and get it all down on cyberspace before I forget any of the cool details.
Oddly enough, I don't really feel that way; at least I don't always really feel that way. I experience doubt that what I'm putting on here is really helping anyone. Sometimes. But then I remember that it doesn't really matter if what I put on here helps someone or not. It's not up to me to decide. It's not up to me to push that on someone. It's simply my job to take everything that I think about--sometimes painful, sometimes joyous--and like it, love it, or leave it, just put it on here and let the chips fall where they may.
I have certainly come to appreciate the use of a journal that is just for conversations between me and Yeshua. I've come to appreciate it on a whole new level. Most of those recent conversations have come in the form of me thinking that they belong on here and creating a pretty lengthy rant, only to delete it before posting it. Destructive? Mmm, I wouldn't say that. Self-preservationistic? Probably more accurate, although perhaps not totally grammatically correct. Why do I think it as such? I would say that it's universally agreed that not everything is meant for every audience.
Okay, so that's a little bit on that. I promise--even if only to myself since I'm shirking more homework to write this--that there won't be much more to this post. But just a couple more nuggets.
I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm working like crazy towards finishing so many projects from my youth. I know that even if the achievement that I see in the near future doesn't go towards anything I will want to do career-wise, it's still a notch in the goal post. I'm going to get my BBA next spring but I can't say that my obtaining a position administrating anything business-related is just going to make my inner-bright-eyed-learning-student-self jump for joy with the feeling that it was all worth it. The business model that I've come to love over the years is not one that believes that a degree is worth any more than the paper it's printed on. Rather it's one that takes a look at the person and asks How much of yourself are you ready to pour out so that your family tree will be changed forever?
I still want to play drums for a living. I must be the only one my age still saying that. Eh, I should probably be a little bit more specific with that. I'm probably the only one that had aspirations in high school to playing drums for a living. Experienced that dream by being a soldier musician for the army band. Left that world thinking that a seemless crossover into the civilian sector would just be waiting for me on the other side. Fast forward roughly nine years later and have seen nothing come to fruition. Keeping in mind that I in no way disregard any of the gigging I've seen these past nine years, when in fact I fully recognize every opportunity I've had as my own personal vacation time as the love and appreciation for the art has never left.
Okay, I'm done for now. I'm a little nervous about this one because I feel like I was a little less careful and reserved than I usually am. But like I said earlier, this is for anyone that needs it. If that happens to be noone or even less than noone, I'm ready.
Also an aside: I'm shooting for at least one blog post a week. I think that's what I started out with but I didn't really start out with that frequency with any gameplan. Now I actually have one: I want to start writing more. My plan is to start once a week again and increase the frequency a little bit each month. It's time to start getting better at it. And believe me when I say that your critique is a very welcomed part of that.
I hope everyone's summer is going very well!
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