The end of Jan.

This month has been so amazing.

That's about all I have to say.  So much so, in fact, that I feel like that sentence IS my blog post for today.  I'll try to write a little more, though.

I guess all I can really add to that, that would really summarize the thousands of layers of stuff that I think of when I think of the month of January in the year 2013 is that it's funny how different time moves and feels when you are trying. 

I don't know how the rest of the year will turn out, but I do know what I have written down.  And it started with me writing it all down.

I will say this, too:  I have started journaling quite a bit more.  I know, I know.  It started out on my "New Year's Resolution" list, then got bumped off when I decided to do the 52 days thing.  But as it turns out I still wanted to write in it.  It's quite literally just a prayer journal.  I don't have anything monstrously profound that I put together and make all fluent and poetic because I'm hoping that centuries down the line people will stumble upon it and become inspired.  Quite the opposite.  Some of it is raw.  It's unrefined.  It's ugly.  But it's me not holding anything back, because there's no need for me to hold anything back, because it's to God; who I hear knows me better than I know myself.

What I've noticed is that it's made my approach to even this blog a little different.

Rawr! I gotta close this up!  Okay, to sum up, the goals are going great.  I'll definitely be back here soon to talk more about it.  I can't wait to share how it's been going.  And I've been listening to Selah for the past half-hour be so irresistably cute in her crib that I just gotta go get her up now.

Take it easy!

Maaaan.  This is tough!  Or is it easy?  Easy to make the goals too tough.  Easy to make 'em too easy.  Easy to worry that I won't come up with goals that are a perfect balance between the two.  And it's so easy to bite off more than I can chew. It's even easier to take a look at someone else's goals, and try to make mine look similar.  And then upon realizing that, trying to make 'em look different.  Then to figure out a way I can find the middle of the road between making 'em look similar and different.  Then realizing that I'm stressing too much about it, and that I shouldn't care at all.  Then trying to establish goals that would indicate the middle of the road between stressing about it and not caring at all. Guh!

And that's the point that I'm at right now.  Sooo, what do I want to do over the next 52 days?  Yep.  Kinda had to go back to the beginning.  What do I want most?  And what steps can I take that will, at the very least, put me further than where I am now?  I had a lot of ideas and I can't do them all.  So I am literally going to have to cherry pick 'em as I'm writing this.  Hey.  It's what I do.

Financial

Start a "Dave Ramsey envelope" for a new car for Bethany.

Physical

No more "conking* out" on the couch at night and then waking up to go to bed.  The night will start right.

Social

Call a friend every day after work.

Mental

Practice speaking Spanish at least 4 hours a week.

Career

Make one new contact / networking agent of some sort in the music community.

Family

Take Beth and Selah to visit Killeen one weekend a month.

Spiritual

Memorize one bible verse per week.

So now that it's official, I feel a little better.  It's my list.  It's what I wanna see happen.  Therefore, I say:

"Bring it!"


*at first, this was spelled with a "k" which I thought looked better.  then while proofreading this out loud I thought it said "knocking**" at first glance.  so I changed it to a "c."

**and then when I proofread it a second time I thought it said "cooking" at first glance.  oh well!

The revision

Ha! Well, I totally should have seen this coming.  All the same, here is what I'm actually going to do this year.  It all started with me checking Twitter this morning--my this morning, that is; I woke up at 10:15 today--and Jon Acuff tweeted a link to a new post from his blog.  (You can read it here.)

I really like his idea because, well, I kinda don't want to do it this way.  It goes against everything I'm used to.  What do I mean, specifically?  I mean, I don't like to admit when something isn't working.  I mean, I like to pretend like I'm able take on tasks even if they are unrealistic.  I mean, I don't like the idea of letting go of the ways I've always done things even if there's a better one.  To bring what I'm trying to say around full circle in its application of my own life:

Take the goals I've come up with, for example.  I already don't like the thought of getting to the end of the short periods of time (52 days), assessing how well I kept to a goal, and then deciding what to do as a result.  Because sometimes I may find that I, in fact, will need to let go of a goal that I haven't stuck to very well.

I think that that may be [one of] the downfall[s] in me.  What if my stubbornness in letting go of a goal that I haven't stuck to has actually kept me from moving on to one that I would otherwise turn out to be awesome at?  That's pretty crazy to think about.  And just think about how many times that has been the case throughout my entire life?  Hm, wow, okay.  This new method is starting to get more and more appealing all the time.

I'm definitely on board for this new way of goal setting.  Anyone want to join?  It's definitely crunch time with it being the 1st and all, but I'm going to have to revise the goals that I started with and the list is probably going to wind up looking very different from the original, but...

I'm looking forward to it!