The start

It's a little funny.  As I was waiting for my computer to power on and all that, I was really quickly thinking of all the items on my list that I want to see done by the end of the year.  I still have some organizing to do; planning and developing a strategy, (which will probably involve taking off some of the goals so as to make sure that I'm not doing my favorite thing I like to do: Overwhelm myself).  So here is a a rough draft:

Complete my musician's journal:  I was given this by my awesome bro-and-sis-in-law a couple years ago.  Whenever I create a new groove, permutation study, or fill, etc. I don't write anything down.  I just come up with it, enjoy it for a half-hour, and then it's gone.  I'm going to write it all down in the journal so that I can go back to it when needed.  I'd like to have the entire book written by the end of the year.  And actually I have a second one that Beth gave me even longer ago.  Double whammy! Wait is that term only good for s'mores?  Meh...

Complete my other journal:  It's the best way to pray (for me).  Any other way is just too difficult to stay focused and not let my mind wander.  Funny thing about it is, it took someone else I know describing himself that way that made me realize the same is true for me.  I have two journals for this as well.  I'd like to have one complete for the year, with the other one as a back up if I fill the first one up early.

Mortgage license and District Leader:  I have a life insurance license and am at the bottom level in my financial services business.  I'd like to add a mortgage license to it and promote myself up to District Leader in my financial services business.

Sapphire:  In my coffee business I'd like to promote myself to the level of Sapphire by the end of the year.

That just about does it for now!  More to soon follow!

Auld Lang Syne.

It's time for new years resolutions! We were talking a little bit about it on the way home from Killeen. I was telling Aaron and Beth about the cool spin that Jon Acuff put on his resolutions for 2012; giving the project the name Finish Year 2012 or something close. I didn't catch onto it until later in the year for some reason. But I'd like to do something like that for 2013. I'm going to do it in the same way that he did it for this past year. I'm gonna get a list together and share it and every week make the blogosphere my own accountabilibuddy by posting the strides I made toward achieving them. And lastly but definitely not leastly, I invite anyone interested in doing the same thing to do it.

Im totally posting this on the fly, so I'm SURE there's something I'm leaving out that I'll remember later. But as far as "rules" go, the first one that comes to mind is that I won't make something obvious a goal. For example, I'm looking at graduation from LeTourneau (finally) this spring. I mean, like, unless my cheese slides completely off my cracker this is GOING to happen. So that won't go on my Finish Year 2013.

More to soon follow!

Pooblished

Why are you doing what you're doing? I ask myself that question a lot. Best example I have is this blog. I think about the "why" quite a bit like the rest of us. I've been told that I'm a good writer. But is that why I do it? Hmmm. Maybe that's why I started it, at least.

But then flaws creep in. Typos. Not enough tact in wording. Piousness. Pride. Boasting. Everything...*everything* is on display.

Sometimes something will find its way on the page and I'll think, "Wow. That's inspiring. I would be so inspired by that."

But MOST the time after I hit "publish" I'll realize that I just did the exact opposite of that. I was sloppy. I was proud. I just invested more time into people I don't even know compared to the two or three glances and nods I gave my own family since being home from work that evening. And I'll think, "Epic fail. I should quit all together."

But I've discovered that I experience less determination to continue in the midst of successes. It's when the flaws are staring me down that I have the tendency to dig in and find a way to make it work.

Why I continue on in the work I started? The mess ups. The falls. The typos. The missed or dropped beats during a gig. I'm trying to not be so afraid of all that.

You can, too.

Don't worry.

Do you want to know how many times I've had to tell myself that? So would I. I don't even count anymore. However I do still pay attention to how many times I do something about it. THAT number is really easy to count. I can also count fairly easily the amount of times I've worried about something and my worry has actually happened. I think the tally on that is: Once. And then I can also tell you how many times the worry that I had, that actually came true, and ended up being as bad as I was predicting it would be: Never.

So those of you reading this that never worry, don't worry this isn't for you. Those of you reading this that are sick of having cliches thrown across your path about not worrying, that's okay. But those of you reading this that are looking for a word of encouragement and are at the point that anything will do; even a lowly regular joe like me taking five minutes out of his day to say the first thing that could possibly come to mind and repeat the most simple phrase imaginable: Don't worry.

It's not worth it. Not even a little. Just let it go. You can do it.

Peace.

Chips

This a real quick call to arms! Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut! I know what you're probably thinking I'm thinking. Daily goals and dreams forgetting about them and making sure you don't forget about them and not getting complacent in working toward achieving them and making them into a reality and not letting the haters slow you down or steal your drive and yut-a-da-da-da well no! That's not what I mean.

Today I became a statistic. I became a number. Today I joined the ranks of the select few out there. How? I let someone ELSE's opinion of someone develop MY opinion of that person. And it came out today. I let it show. And it was not very pretty. It was not my best moment. Not even close. And the ugliness of it was ever before me. I realized how quickly my opinion had so easily been shaped so simply by associating with those who have made their opinions known over and over again. And it worked on me.

So I beg you. Always, always see how those in your life are a blessing. What they offer. What they bring to the table. Cos we all bring something beneficial. And even if it's just Doritos that we bring to the table, then hey, it's still Doritos!

Blog post time!

This is me feeling like doing another blog post!  And I have no reason for it.  Surprise!  Nope, no big analytical thing that I feel like sharing or confessing or getting off my chest or whatever.  Hmmm...maybe I'm just a little bit inspired again by my favorite dreamer-turned-doer Jon Acuff and just reading his more recent tid bits on his new book coming out along with a few other topics.  And I just feel like saying a quick "hi" to ALL the people that like to read my posts.  I also spent WAY too much time last night (ashamedley) watching videos on YouTube of all my favorite drummers; at first thinking, Gosh. I will never be that good, to finally thinking, Oog, I never want to be that good.  Strange?  Yes, but really I was mostly just realizing that if I sounded like all those dudes on the drums I would sound like them.  I need to sound like me.  No matter WHAT level my playing ability might be at!  If I sound as good as them but also sound like them what good is that?  None!

Welp.  I wanted to make this a really quick one.  I hope everyone is doing well.  I hope you're not spending any money this Christmas.  And I just absolutely cannot say this enough, THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to read my bliggity blog.  It means the world to me.

Rescue mission

Somethin' just happened that I just gotta share. God is so crazy awesome powerful gentle. I won't make this very long. But I felt in my heart that someone might want to read this story.

I left church early to drive to Longview for work. On my way here I was doing my regular trend of listening to Dave. I've been feeling more and more guilty that I haven't spent very much time talking with God or much time reading my bible lately. Basically not spending time with Him. I've been putting Him on the "back burner." On my way here I started feeling really bad about that and then I started piling all this other stuff that I felt bad about until I got to the point where I was more or less bringing him a "woe is me" attitude. It wasn't something that I would imagine God would be very proud to see one of His children bringing to Him as a prayer. It was pretty pitiful. I finished my rant about how far away I felt from Him for all the reasons I listed and there was silence for a couple minutes.

Then I remembered the chapter in psalms that I have been working on memorizing for awhile but just have not finished yet. I started with the part that I know and just went on til I got to the part I didn't remember.

I didn't think this would happen. But I started to anchor in to the words that I was saying.

I realized that the way that I came to Him that I thought was the worst way that I could come to Him was actually exactly like He wants me to come to Him. I felt at the time like I was such a lost cause with Him and therefore didn't even have the words to say that would have helped my case or my situation or plea for help that all I could do was just be silent. And later I realized that at the end of my rope without even a prayer is where He gets to rescue me. It's where He WANTS to rescue me. And He did.

So I got here early and just wanted to share it with y'all. I don't know why but I wanted to take a picture of my view when this happened.