Pooblished

Why are you doing what you're doing? I ask myself that question a lot. Best example I have is this blog. I think about the "why" quite a bit like the rest of us. I've been told that I'm a good writer. But is that why I do it? Hmmm. Maybe that's why I started it, at least.

But then flaws creep in. Typos. Not enough tact in wording. Piousness. Pride. Boasting. Everything...*everything* is on display.

Sometimes something will find its way on the page and I'll think, "Wow. That's inspiring. I would be so inspired by that."

But MOST the time after I hit "publish" I'll realize that I just did the exact opposite of that. I was sloppy. I was proud. I just invested more time into people I don't even know compared to the two or three glances and nods I gave my own family since being home from work that evening. And I'll think, "Epic fail. I should quit all together."

But I've discovered that I experience less determination to continue in the midst of successes. It's when the flaws are staring me down that I have the tendency to dig in and find a way to make it work.

Why I continue on in the work I started? The mess ups. The falls. The typos. The missed or dropped beats during a gig. I'm trying to not be so afraid of all that.

You can, too.