A royal ramble.

This morning the only thing I felt like would really suffice for a journal entry was a big H-E-L-P-! across the entire face of the page, written diagonally of course; so that I would not waste any space.  I ended up not doing it, even though it's how I felt at the time.  But I couldn't find a Sharpie and I felt like God would definitely respond to a Sharpie.

I realized this morning when I sat down to do my morning routine that reading the bible is how I let God speak to me and writing in the journal is how I let me speak to God.  Sometimes I'll sit and be still and close my eyes and say, "Okay God I'm not going to say a word.  I'm just going to sit here and try to listen for your voice."  And I always hear silence.  Nothing.  And then a dog bark from outside.  Or a car speeding down our street.

I feel like I really need to hear--not only from him--but just him!  I need to hear him.  Out of that I'll feel like it definitely won't work if I'm the one talking or even if I'm writing because out of that it's still me "talking."  But then when I just sit still so as to try and listen for him, I don't hear anything.  So then I fall back to reading the bible.

I'm having a really hard time being content with where I am right now.  I want so much.  I'll read someone else's blog and something will trigger the reaction Aw! I wish I had that many people reading mine! Then I'll do some homework and let's say part of it requires me to research Harley-Davidson's financial statements and I'll think Ack! I wanna build a business as big as those guys! And I just want, want, want, want, want and I don't even consider what the heck it is that's driving me.  I heard this saying recently and I'm starting to believe that even though it was said to me completely out of context, I captured it because I would need to very frequently call it to mind because of the way I'm feeling right now:  Can't see the forest for the trees.  I think that's how it goes.

I just realized something:  The bible itself even says in it that God has spoken to us in the past through the prophets; but that he now speaks to us by his Son.  And that another name for his Son is the Word.  The bible is called the Word of God, too.  That's cool!

Anyway, I just thought I'd share a little bit.  Hope ya'll have an awesome day.