At a bank of all places!

In my picture of a perfect world I am always on the go. I have a continuous stream of appointments to meet with people to share with them, I don't know, SOMETHING. It would just depend on who I'm talking to and where they are at in their own individual lives I guess, so it would always be different. (I'm pretty sure that last sentence wasn't totally grammatically correct, but I always like to "write" exactly the way I would talk in casual conversation. It's kinda always been like my signature style.)

Okay, but, yeah like I was saying I always picture the "totally-squared-away-Jason" having his day just chock full of exactly that. Meetings, one-on-one, over a cup a Joe, with someone new, telling my story of where I came from, where I am today, where I plan to go, and using that to ignite them into being able to share with me whatever area in their life they may be struggling or what their dreams are. (Again, I'm pretty sure I just moved from a suspicion of grammatical incorrectness of "1700's-musket-fire" proportions to a much more unable to ignore 21st century weapons of modern warfare proportions of such. Oh well.)

In my picture I wouldn't waste any time. Not one minute doing anything that is not for the purpose of pushing someone up. Building someone up. Doing everything I can to help someone get to a new level in their life.

So why don't I? Why am I so busy doing everything else? Hmm, I'm really not sure. But I do know that so often I take someone's negative reaction personally. You know, taking it to heart. Instead of "shaking the dust off my feet" I'll just leave it on there and be all, "You see the dust on my feet?!" So weird. We all know that's not gonna get me anywhere. Another reason might be that I'm thinking too much about people that I've hurt in the past because of immaturity on my part or just by accident and I'll think, "Well, THEY seem to know me as a screw-up so I'll be safer just staying where I'm at in case they catch wind from someone else that I'm NOT a screw-up anymore and in hearing so, be compelled to tell that person how and why THEY know me as a screw-up."

It's really not as bad as I'm probably coming across. I'm not saying that I'm just laid up on my couch just totally incapacitated from such thoughts But on the other hand, yeah, can I just be totally honest? In a way, that's exactly what's happening. While I'm over here stuck on my past or allowing whatever excuse I can come up with to stop me, there's new people out there that are desperately needing to hear exactly what I have to tell them. Exactly what I have to share with them. And whether I'm stopped a little or stopped a lot, I'm still stopped.

Are you able to relate to what I'm saying? Have you felt the same way I have felt, and asked the same questions I've asked, and over analyzed the same thing that I've over analyzed? Well, then what's for me is also for you:

Don't listen to the part that says you shouldn't try again. Don't make the mistake of thinking that there's no one left out there that will look to you to lead them out of whatever pit of despair they may be in. Don't let your own doubts and fear keep someone else from help they could receive from you in shedding theirs. Say "hi" to someone new today. If they can't even say hi back, immediately go to the next person. Keep going. Eventually in your conversation, there may just be the window of opportunity to ask them, "Sir? Can I ask you a question? What do you want most out of life?"

I know it's a great question because whatever their response is, you have the ability to point them in that direction. And again if they shut down after that? Next person. There are BILLIONS out there.

I ran into someone today that I've known for a few years but haven't seen in probably over a year. He was going through something very heavy that he was not wanting to talk about; even more than that, he just didn't want to talk. PERIOD. I was kinda shut up for a few seconds and we both went back to doing what we were doing which was each being assisted by a bank teller. Right before I turned to leave he apologized for being abrupt and was on the verge of tears. Unshaken, but definitely using a different approach from what I tried to use previously, I asked if he still had my phone number. I gave it to him and told him to call me. If he does, all I'll get to do is listen. It's exactly what he needs. Making it exactly what I wanna give him. I hope he calls.